Today, we delve deep into a significant topic: the concept of "Little Girl Energy," also known as the "Good Girl Energy," and on how it could be holding you back in your career, business and life. This subtle yet powerful blockage has been a personal journey for me, one that I grappled with for years as I played the role of the "good girl" in my own life.
In this blog post, my goal is to provide you with a comprehensive understanding of this archetype. Trust me, some of these symptoms are incredibly discreet and well-concealed.
As soon as I began addressing my own "good girl" wounds, I witnessed tangible improvements in my business, how I attracted abundance and opportunities, and the liberation of unhealthy and misaligned elements from both my life and business. Also drawing from my experience supporting clients in my private practice, I've observed that this particular block often holds many women back. So, let's unpack it and explore it further.
Introduction
In our modern society, we often overlook the pivotal transition from childhood to adulthood. This moment represents a profound shift in one's identity, a transformation that seldom receives the recognition it deserves, let alone celebration.
In addition, our educational system tends to neglect the teaching of emotional intelligence and the development of healthy communication skills or the ability to regulate our nervous systems. Instead, we prioritise the study of numerous subjects that, while valuable, may not be as fundamentally crucial as emotional intelligence.
The truth is, the absence of emotional intelligence can impact every facet of our lives, ranging from instances of road rage and even more severe crimes when individuals lose control of their emotions, to the way we handle minor disagreements with loved ones and confront the usual challenges in our professional pursuits. Recognizing the significance of emotional intelligence can lead to a more harmonious and balanced society overall.
In a nutshell, the absence of a formal transition from childhood to adulthood and the neglect of emotional education lead to people in adult bodies while retaining the emotional intelligence of a child. As a result, we give our personal power away, making impulsive emotional choices, reacting rather than responding thoughtfully, and seeking validation through people-pleasing behaviors.
How many of those sound familiar?
Be a good girl.
Say YES.
Do as you're told.
Listen to others.
Make your parents proud by doing this.
Don’t talk back.
Wait your turn.
Just sit here and be quiet.
Smile and look happy.
Don’t make your father angry.
Did you nod your head while reading the above statements? This is not about blaming our parents or caregivers, and not all of those examples are just bad. Yet, over time, compounded with other ways the society has kept us trapped, the good girl syndrome can become a heavy load to carry. The good girl is a universal phenomenon, we all have glimpses of her within us; however, each good girl journey is unique.
From an early age, the expectations were clear–you were to follow the rules, be quiet, think of others before yourself, and only then you deserved to be praised and receive love. It is a way for us to subconsciously protect ourselves from getting punished and hurt by others. This has resulted in generations of women and men feeling exhausted, burnt out, trapped in cycles of people-pleasing and being disconnected. The powerful queen within is waiting to be remembered and reclaimed.
Recognizing and addressing these patterns is a crucial step in allowing the powerful, authentic self within to be remembered and reclaimed.
Where in your life have you been trapped in the good girl energy?
Good Girl Energy in Your Life
In Relationships
The presence of the "Good Girl" energy is often strongly felt in our relationships with others. It manifests in various ways, such as:
Over-Apologizing: Constantly saying sorry for anything and everything, even when it's unnecessary.
Diminishing Oneself: Making oneself small and not taking up the space one deserves.
Fear of Differing Opinions: Being afraid to express differing opinions or viewpoints from others. Fear of Disapproval: Worrying about being disliked, criticized, or judged by others.
People-Pleasing: Shapeshifting to please others, often at the expense of one's own authenticity.
Toxic Humility: Taking humility to an unhealthy extreme, often to the detriment of self-esteem.
Inability to Set Boundaries: Struggling to define personal boundaries, leading to overcommitment and exhaustion.
Over-Explanation: Feeling the need to over-explain oneself or one's decisions.
The inner "Good Girl" often goes to great lengths to avoid conflicts, even when it's necessary for healthy relationships. This avoidance can lead to resentment over time, as she constantly overextends herself in an effort to maintain harmony.
Additionally, the "Little Girl" energy can become particularly prominent when triggered or when her desires are not met. In these moments, she may react by:
Comparison: Engaging in unproductive comparisons with others and feeling the need to prove herself.
Conflict Avoidance: Struggling to navigate arguments or disagreements and sometimes avoiding them altogether, which can harm relationships and erode trust.
Emotional Outbursts: Difficulty managing emotions due to a lack of emotional intelligence, resulting in behaviors like yelling, using swear words, or making impulsive decisions when triggered.
Recognizing these patterns and working to address the "Good Girl" and "Little Girl" energies can lead to healthier, more authentic, and fulfilling relationships. It's essential to develop emotional intelligence, set boundaries, and communicate openly and honestly to foster trust and understanding in relationships.
In Your Business or Career
The good girl syndrome is a huge abundance and prosperity block. She struggles with taking up space and receiving what she deserves. She tends to minimize herself, not giving herself the room she needs. There are various reasons for this behavior, including past trauma associated with expressing her opinions, internalized beliefs that taking up as little space as possible is safer, and a fear of judgment.
In the context of your business or career, you might notice the following manifestations of the "Little Girl" energy:
Settling for Less: You may find yourself pursuing less ambitious goals, perhaps not even articulating them to others or, at times, even to yourself. This reluctance to declare your aspirations can stem from a fear of failure.
Avoiding Opportunities: You might pass up opportunities because you lack the energetic capacity to face potential failure. The discomfort of dealing with these emotions leads you to run away from such opportunities.
Filtering Your Voice: The "Little Girl" often seeks safety in conformity and may hesitate to stand out with her opinions, even if she holds them. This tendency to stay in the background is what I refer to as the "vanilla-land" effect.
These patterns can have adverse effects, such as burnout and a loss of inspiration. You may feel compelled to shoulder the entire workload alone and believe that success must be earned through relentless hard work.
Lack of boundaries is another prominent issue associated with the "Good Girl Syndrome" in business or career settings. This can manifest as:
Overcommitting: Saying "yes" to too many tasks or projects, which can lead to overwhelm and exhaustion.
Difficulty Saying "No": Struggling to decline requests or opportunities, even when they don't align with your goals.
Sacrificing Personal Time: Neglecting self-care and personal time to accommodate others' demands.
Addressing these challenges and establishing healthy boundaries is crucial for unlocking your full potential and achieving abundance and prosperity in your business or career.
In Your Relationship with Yourself
When grappling with the "Good Girl Syndrome," it's common to disregard our own feelings and needs to protect others. What's crucial to recognize is that internally, the "Good Girl" often feels helpless and victimized by her circumstances, forgetting her inherent power as a co-creator of her life. She may shift blame onto others, complain about life's challenges, yet fail to take proactive steps to effect change. This pattern often indicates a lack of personal responsibility.
Picture a young child saying, "It's not my fault," primarily driven by the fear of punishment. However, as adults, we must acknowledge that we've grown beyond that stage and now have the agency to own our choices. If some of those choices turn out to be mistakes, it's a part of our learning journey.
Ready to Release the "Little Girl" Energy and 10X Your Manifestations?
If you've resonated with the insights shared in this blog post and are ready to break free from the grip of "Little Girl" energy, limiting patterns, and emotional rollercoasters, then it's time to take action.
Join my signature program "Emotional Alchemy" that opens only once per year and gain access to the transformative tools and techniques discussed in this article.
With Emotional Alchemy, you'll learn how to:
Release the "Little Girl" energy that's been holding you back
Upgrade your emotional intelligence for greater personal growth
Say goodbye to self-sabotage and hello to limitless potential
Cultivate meaningful, fulfilling relationships
Propel your business or career to new heights
Don't let these insights remain just words on a page—turn them into actionable steps towards your own personal transformation.
Click below to find out more information and begin your journey towards mastering your emotions and unlocking your inner magnetism.
With Love,
Stepanka
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