Over the years of supporting numerous women business owners, lightworkers, and creatives, I have witnessed a common thread of self-sabotaging behaviors that often hinder personal and professional growth and hold them back from unlocking their next level.
Having traversed my own journey, I can resonate with the challenges many face in reclaiming their power. In this article, we delve into various ways in which lightworkers, business owners, and creatives unknowingly give away their power.
(If you prefer listening over reading, you can also listen to this on the Inner Glow Podcast podcast instead, simply search here for episode 36, season 2)
1.Waiting for 'Perfect Alignment':
Ever found yourself stuck, not taking that leap because things didn't feel perfectly aligned? Maybe you thought certain ducks had to be in a row before making a move?
Sure, it's okay to hit pause and catch your breath, especially when emotions are running high. But let's be real, waiting for this mystical alignment can often be a sneaky excuse—a comfort zone trap. What does alignment mean anyway? Perfection? We all know that's just an illusion.
Very often the tendency to wait for perfect alignment often manifests as hesitation and indecision. The idea that you can't decide or take action until everything is crystal clear or perfect—that's a tall order. Let's face it, who really has all their ducks neatly aligned? The crazy part? Clarity often springs from action, learning, and figuring out what works and what doesn't, what you like and don’t.
This mindset usually traces back to a deep-seated fear of making mistakes or looking foolish. So instead, we stay in our safety zone, avoiding that discomfort of stepping beyond the familiar.
Another way I have seen this self-sabotage pattern play out is waiting for the "fully healed" moment. Can't make a move until everything in life is picture-perfect, chakras aligned, and the stars have thrown a cosmic party above. While healing is crucial, there's a line between necessary caution and self-imposed barriers. Life's messy, and waiting for perfect alignment becomes a kind of aimless self-sabotage, keeping us stuck.
In other words, waiting for an elusive state of perfect alignment can become an aimless self-sabotage, creating a stagnant comfort zone. The truth is, the stars will never align perfectly, and chakras won't always be in harmonious balance.
However, this shouldn't hinder one's ability to make a powerful impact, launch initiatives, focus on goals, learn from experiences, improve, and keep progressing. and yes, you will make mistakes, but as long as you learn from this you will always gain, there is no such a thing as making a mistake and losing when it comes to this work, you just need to have the courage to face it.
2.Chronic Busyness vs. Productivity:
Have you ever found yourself constantly busy—doing things, always on the move, yet feeling like there's an endless list of tasks, and somehow the most crucial ones keep getting pushed aside? It's a common struggle, and the truth is, staying busy doesn't always lead to meaningful results.
In running my own business, I've grappled with this firsthand.
Maintaining organization without letting it spill into my personal life posed a challenge.
Distinguishing between important and non-important tasks wasn't as straightforward as it seemed. As a business owner, not all tasks are equal, and that's where the challenge begins. It requires being somewhat ruthless in deciding what truly deserves your time and what might need to be cut out altogether.
Take a moment, whether it's in the morning or evening, weekly or monthly, to get crystal clear on what genuinely needs your attention. Identify those needle-moving activities in your business—the ones that can make a significant, tangible difference. For example, if you want to grow your business, focus on the avenues where most of your customers and clients come from. Of course, non-negotiable tasks like serving current clients and delivering promised products remain priorities.
It's easy to get sidetracked, especially when essential tasks like selling and promoting are overshadowed by seemingly crucial but less impactful business activities, like spending hours on Canva perfecting a graphic for a program that hasn't even been properly promoted.
Let's be real—sometimes, we unconsciously create extra work for ourselves. We convince ourselves that scrolling through social media is market research or a way to connect with others, but it often turns into a diversion from what truly matters.
So, let's break free from the busyness trap. Prioritize wisely, focus on what truly makes an impact, and witness your productivity soar.
3.Overcomplicating:
Our journey into self-sabotage brings us to the third trap: overcomplication. It's closely tied to what we just delved into, and it's about learning to embrace simplicity. This is a path I've trodden way too many times personally, and I've witnessed clients doing the same. We tend to overcomplicate everything, from how we believe things should unfold to the language we use in our offers and products.
It's evident in the intricate structures of our programs, courses, and 1:1 packages. We constantly add more features, complicating our teachings, frameworks, and concepts. Personally, launching a program without a fancy signup page was a stretch, but using a simple booking link like Calendly proved effective. The illusion of perfection often creeps in.
Take, for example, the offering of products, programs, courses, or 1:1 work. The allure of including numerous upsells and complex bundle ideas can create chaos. It's vital to recognize that clarity often gets lost in this complexity.
In my work with 1:1 clients, they often submit various elements for feedback, whether it's an article, a work-in-progress presentation, a sales page, or a request for help with copywriting. In many cases, I advocate for simplicity because our desire to impress can lead us to make things unnecessarily complicated. What makes sense to us might sound confusing to someone on the receiving end.
Embrace simplicity, keep things straightforward, and watch your success take flight. In a world overflowing with complexity, simplicity stands out.
4. Social Media Numbers:
In our exploration of self-sabotage, the fourth pitfall delves into the allure of social media metrics. It's a trap I've witnessed far too many lightworkers, creatives, and business owners fall into, allowing likes and comments to dictate their mood and perceptions of success.
The fixation on social media numbers can be potent, yet we often grant it more power than it deserves. The truth is, these numbers signify nothing about the quality of your work or products. They don't define your worth, lovability, and certainly don't guarantee success or determine your income. Strangely enough, they don't even reflect the quality of your content.
How many times have you come across a post with an incredible, shareable graphic that garnered only a few likes, leaving you wondering why it didn't receive more recognition?
I've worked with clients boasting substantial audiences, going viral, or even being shared by influencers, and surprisingly, it didn't always translate to financial success. So, let's dispel assumptions and keep sharing our work, unburdened by the weight of social media metrics.
Additionally, the trap of comparisonitis often surfaces in the social media realm—stop comparing yourself to others. It's the least productive thing to do and is a surefire way to stifle your own creativity. Break free from the comparison game, cease giving others undue power over your self-worth, and recognize that your impact extends beyond mere metrics.
5. Seeking Approval and Permission:
We often find ourselves in the trap of seeking approval from everyone around us, asking for opinions, wondering if what we're doing is right, and constantly fishing for suggestions. While seeking feedback is essential and can be beneficial, there's a disempowering side to it when you rely on others' advice to save you.
This disempowerment creeps in when you lack trust in yourself and your intuition. The fear of making a mistake, of getting it wrong, is a natural part of being human. This tendency is closely tied to seeking validation from others. It's time to break free from the cycle of constantly seeking permission before making a move.
Trust your intuition and stop seeking validation from others, and ditch the habit of asking for permission at every turn. If you catch yourself consistently seeking the opinions of others, it's a clear sign that you fear making mistakes. It's time to dial up the volume on self-trust and connect with your inner decision-maker.
Embrace your authority and make choices that align with your vision and intuition. It's your journey—take the reins and navigate with confidence.
6. Being trapped in ‘Vanilla Land’
"Vanilla Land" is a place where many of us find ourselves, trapped in the common self-sabotage of blending in, playing it safe, and fearing standing out. But what does it really mean to be in Vanilla Land? It's about not sharing what you truly want, diluting your authenticity to fit in, and avoiding the spotlight.
The truth is, your uniqueness, your quirks, and your true self are what people crave. Embracing your authentic flavor creates deep connections, and it's time to bid farewell to the need for universal approval.
My journey of stepping out of Vanilla Land has been transformative. Leaning into my own edge, giving myself permission to share my opinions, has not only benefited my business but also enhanced my overall well-being. Constantly filtering oneself is not a healthy practice.
Stepping out of Vanilla Land is a personal and unique journey for everyone. In the early days of taking my hypnotherapy business online, the fear of judgment from classmates, former teachers, and coworkers held me back. I refrained from sharing my interests in oracle cards and spiritual practices. However, as I learned to lean into those aspects, I discovered a deeper connection online.
People care a lot less about our choices than we think—they are more accepting than we give them credit for.
The real pressure comes from self-judgment. It's time to break free, embrace your uniqueness, and let your authenticity shine.
7. Blaming Astrology and Celestial Events:
Let's dive into the world of astrology—a realm I deeply love for its insights into energies. However, there's a shadow side when we allow it to hold power over us. Blaming celestial events, such as Mercury retrograde, has become a widespread excuse for setbacks, but it's high time to cut the blame game.
While astrology provides valuable insights, surrendering all our power to the stars isn't the solution. Instead, let's treat astrology as a tool for gaining insights rather than a predetermined roadmap for our entire lives.
It's crucial to understand that what we focus on expands. If we obsess over celestial events being the cause of challenges, we might start seeing evidence where it doesn't truly exist. Our thoughts hold immense power, so it's essential to harness that power wisely and take charge of creating our own destiny.
Astrology can guide us, offering a map of influences, but it should never be an excuse to relinquish control over our choices and actions. By embracing the insights of celestial events without using them as blame mechanisms, we empower ourselves to navigate challenges with resilience and determination.
Remember, your destiny is shaped by your decisions and actions, not by the positions of the stars.
8. Card Readings & Psychic Insights:
Let's talk about card readings and psychic insights. While these tools can be incredibly helpful and empowering, it's essential to recognize when we might be giving away our power to them. I, too, have sought guidance through readings, finding encouragement and empowerment. However, I've also experienced moments when I let these tools dictate my decisions, constantly seeking advice and waiting for external guidance, which eventually became disempowering.
In the narrative of your life, remember that you are the author, not a helpless character. Card readings and psychic insights provide valuable perspectives, but the power to decide and act ultimately lies within you. Use these tools wisely, letting them inform your choices rather than dictate them.
It's a common pitfall to fall into a cycle of constant readings, relying on external sources rather than trusting your innate intuition. Be cautious not to become trapped in this cycle; your ultimate decisions and actions are yours to make.
Dear lightworkers, now is the time to reclaim your power, amplify self-trust, and take charge of your narrative. Embrace your uniqueness, trust your gut, and let your inner fire burn brightly. The universe acknowledges and honors your unyielding strength!
I hope the insights shared in this article resonated with you and shed light on potential areas where you might be unknowingly giving away your power. If this struck a chord, I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Feel free to share this with friends who might benefit from the wisdom here.
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